New Year's Resolutions
I have started this blog four times. The first time was 5:30 am on New Year's Day, 2021. The second time was later that day. Now it is January 2, 4:30 am, and this is my second attempt today.
I am at a loss about what I want to say. I know what my resolution is, for myself and for Inclusivi-tee, that's the easy part.
I resolve to do everything in my power over the next year to create a sustainable future where everyone thrives.
It's after that where I falter. What is it that you want to hear? What is it that will convey what I think? What is it that will represent the message I want for the company? In my head, I know where we are going and understand where we have been. Putting pen to paper is harder. At least it is harder for me.
I am locked in a battle that has been raging since I was eleven or twelve, a battle between the voice that I know is mine and the voice of my bully. Most of the time now, my voice is much stronger. I tell the bully to go away and he quiets. Most of the time, I know that I am a worthwhile powerful force with an important message. Most of the time.
But my bully is powerful and noisy. My bully is persistent. My bully knows when I am tired. Then my bully's voice rings out, "You are worthless. You are stupid. You are ugly. No one will ever love you." I know it is wrong but he is loud.
I remind myself that my bully becomes most active when I am about to do something important. I remind myself that my bully no longer lives with me, no longer has any power in my life. I remind myself that I AM the powerful force I was before my bully. I am the girl who danced in the rain and sang at the top of my lungs. I am the girl who believed in magic.
I remind myself that my bully is loudest when I am about to do something incredible: interview for graduate school; defend my dissertation; open a business; write a book. I remind myself that I did all of these things anyway. I stepped over my bully and DID THEM ANYWAY.
So, maybe my New Year's Resolution is
I resolve to step over my bully and do everything in my power over the next year to create a sustainable future where everyone thrives.
My challenge for you is do the same. Step over your bully and create the world you want. Let's make 2021 the year to rid ourselves of bullies.
HAPPY NEW YEAR!